Friday, February 17, 2012

News Report

Hello world!  This is your 8 AM news report coming to you from the satellite studios of KMOS in the suburbs of beautiful ***** Kansas.  We are located in the middle of somewhere which is just about 1.3 miles over the from the middle of nowhere.  We had to change locations today. Two skunks got into the studio downtown.  Hopefully they can get it cleaned out soon.  Today's show is brought to you by Uncle Tom's Spa and Educational Film Center located smack dab in the middle of town.   Haven't visited the place yet,  but I hear it verrrrry relaxing.  Seems to be quite a crowd of men there on Saturday nights.  Uncle Tom also has a selection of his aged "cider" on hand.   Some aged as long as yesterday!   Good stuff.  Need to get some Mason jars cleaned and get some of that stuff.  Oh well, I better get on with things.  Lost my train of thought again.  I just can't think about that "cider".

Not much on the national front today.  Last I saw of the skunks, they was doing weird things on the national desk!  I ain't in to bothering anything like that goin' on.

Plenty going on here on the local scene though.  Weather looks good this morning.  Weather rock tells me it is clear, dry, and not windy.  Should be a good one today.  Checking through the obituary column--once again I saw all eight people in town yesterday so I don't have anything to add there.

Hog reports are pretty light today also.  But there are some new baby lambs over south.   Cute little devils.  They don't resemble anyone we know, (which was a surprise to some).  

They had to take Old Granny Smith to doctor the other day.  I don't know what was wrong for sure,  but she told this reporter it's just a "mid life crisis and female troubles?????"... I didn't follow up on that. Almost more information than I need!   I would have thought that  mid life would have passed long ago.  In this reporters opinion, she's just kind of sweet on that new doctor.  I wouldn't think she'd be looking for another man.  She's already worn out 4 husbands!  Oh well, none of my busness, but it is kind of interesting.  May have to follow up on that.  

In the social items----There was a big goings on at the lodge last week.  It was their annual "Lamb fry-drink yourself stupid and all out good time stag".  Refreshments and entertainment was provided be Uncle Tom's Spa and Educational Film center.  This reporter was unable to attend because of an expected death in the community, (mine if I went)!  I tried to find out if a good time was had by all, but all I got was glassy eyes and stupid grins!  Needless to say there was not a whole lot of activity in the neighborhood for a few days.

I see by the clock on the wall that it is time to go for today.  This is your faithful reporter returning you to your regularly scheduled program--How to get skunk smell out of a room.

Until next--God Bless--johnnyb

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