Disclaimer: All persons mentioned in the following are fictional, and are not meant to resemble anyone living or otherwise occupying space on this earth, and if they do then it is probably intentional.  In other if the shoe fits, wear the damned thing!!!!!!

Good morning and welcome to the Morning News Report.  We are broadcasting live from the studios of KMOS in beautiful downtown ***** KS, which is located in the middle of somewhere, which is 1.3 miles east over the the hill from the middle of nowhere.  Chwcking the weather, I see the the old weather rock is just hanging there like a, well never mind how it is hanging  The important thing is I can see it hanging means it is clear and no wind.

Moving right along into local news.  Uncle Tom of Uncle Tom's Spa and Educational Film Emporium fame, sponsored a garden market.  A good time was had by all.  People from all over the are brought in their "goodies from the garden".  Grampy and Granny Fosterwickel from over on Stick Ridge brought in some of their best, featuring some of the largest cucumbers this area has ever seen.  Grampy remarked that he hasn't seen Granny smile for long time like she was smiling while picking them big brutes.  Don't know what that was all about.

The Twitterhead brothers from up  Whistle Rock way brought in some of their excelsior made from some of their best crops.  They say they haven't had a sick day since starting on a steady diet of the stuff.  It seemed to work well, and fast also.  A lot of people were feeling better, and I mean a lot better, in quick fashion.  I think we can probably look forward to more of their stuff in the near future as it was a huge success!

Uncle Tom held a private, premier showing of a  movie down at the Emporium that he has obtained from sources that will remain unnamed for various reasons.  It featured some local talent. I use the word talent loosely! It guess it could be classified as a human interest film, as in definitely held our interest.   My, my, my.  Ever so interesting.  Word is that the stars of the film could possibly make a guest appearance at a later date.  We will keep our eyes on this subject, and keep you informed, kind of.

In other news, Aunt Wilehmena said Uncle Lo suffered some heart pains the other night after coming home from the movie.  He was going to show her some of the positions, I mean exercises, they showed in the movie, when he was taken over by the pains.  After a little rest he was doing ok.  A recap of the movie will have to wait!

I see by the old clock on the wall our time is up.  Stay tuned for the Spit and Whittle Club update.  I am sure there will be some interesting tidbits come up there.  So, I will be with you next week at the same time and place, depending on hunting season and, or when the Twitterhead brothers come to town.

God Bless--johnnyb