Thursday, March 28, 2013

A.A.A.D.D.


Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder...  
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!! 

Recently, I was diagnosed [by my wife, children, co-workers…] with A.A.A.D.D.  
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. 
As I turned on the hose in the driveway, 
I looked over at my car and decided it needs washing.

As I started toward the garage, 
I noticed mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decided to go through the mail before I wash the car. 

I lay my car keys on the table, 
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and noticed that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back 
on the table and take out the garbage first.


But then I think, 
since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, 
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, 
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, 
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, 
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and 
discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning...

I decide I better put them back on my desk, 
but first I'm going to water the flowers.
 I set the glasses back down on the counter, 
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, 
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, 
but quite a bit of it spills on to the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, 
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to 
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: 
the car isn't washed 
the bills aren't paid 
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter 
the flowers don't have enough water, 
there is still only 1 check in my check book, 
I can't find the remote, 
I can't find my glasses, 
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. 
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
 I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

17 comments:

  1. Have you been spying on me? LOL...How in the world did you know to describe my life...heehee..I too suffer from this disorder...and glad to know there is a name for it and that I am not alone...maybe we should start a support group, maybe a 12 step program...or create a new pill...LOL

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    Replies
    1. That's an idea, except between the first and second step I would get a drink or something and never make it back!!

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  2. Groan - It's catchy, even across this distance... :)

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  3. Glad to know I am not alone and there is a name for this disorder. Too funny, thanks for sharing.

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  4. Sounds like we're getting older.

    I have this problem and call it old times disease, lol

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  5. I think I've been suffering from this disorder for quite some time. At least now I know that it has been identified with a name...

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  6. That Was really funny. I know you read the recent statistics on ADD. Back in my day, a good butt-whipping and some close monitoring by an adult would cure most ADD. Not to make light of the fact some children have real issues, but this "disease" is way over-diagnosed in children these days. The same cure that worked 50 years ago would work today!

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  7. I definitely have a mild case of this especially when cleaning the house lol

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  8. What a relief to know that I do not suffer alone from this condition!

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